May Her Prayers Remain Unanswered
by MissWriteProductions
Summary: I want to tell her I'm sorry but the second my eyes connect with hers the words die in my mouth. Her hazel eyes were staring into my mine with a mixture of wonder, longing, and dare I say it…lust. While the rest of her body was resisting me and maybe even only seconds away from breaking down; her eyes…the window to her soul were calm and focused on me. ...and so I kissed her again
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

**Hello Readers, I don't normally write sexually charged stories but this is just a short three maybe four shot, which probably means it will be a five shot, that popped into my head. **

**I'm currently working on three other stories that are quite longer than this so I'll be back with plot heavy story in no time...It will probably be Lifeline and The Full Moon's Calling that come out in the next though. **

**Warning: I'm not good at writing sex scenes. Correction! I cannot write a sex scene. No really, I cannot write a sex scene. ...You'll see.**

**-MissWriteProductions**

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**May Her Prayers Remain Unanswered**

I probably shouldn't have done it, but I was just overwhelmed at the prospect at having a friend. Why that lead to my kissing Quinn Fabray I will never know. Regardless I did kiss her, in fact, I still am kissing her and she's…whimpering. She whimpering and whining out my name almost as if she's in pain, so I pull back. I pull back and for the first time it registers with me that she was not kissing me back. She's breathing in harsh but shallow breaths and if I listen closely I can hear the sob that's lodged in her throat. I want to tell her I'm sorry, to tell her I don't know what came over me, to try to make it right, but the second my eyes connect with hers the words die in my mouth. Her hazel eyes were staring into my mine with a mixture of wonder, longing, and dare I say it…lust. While the rest of her body was resisting me and maybe even only seconds away from breaking down; her eyes…the windows to her soul, were calm and focused on mine. I could read the soft pleas swimming in the green flecks of her eyes just below the others and slowly I made my way back to her lips and kissed her again. Still she didn't kiss me back and she even started to squirm against me in addition to the whimpering. She whined my name again when I pulled back slightly and I understood it was not a whine to encourage me to continue. However, when I pulled back again, the pleas have overtaking just about every other tell in her eyes until the only other thing that remained was the longing.

I kissed her again and after a few moments something in her snapped. My hands that were previously cupping her face and holding her hand were now held above my head before she let out a shaky but resigned sigh and connected our lips and kissed me. To this day, as hard as I try, I still cannot assign a feeling to her kiss, but it stood between hunger and longing, a hard possessiveness and a sweet caress, cautious exploration and reckless abandon, sinful temptation and heavenly creation. Regardless of where exactly her kisses and touches fell I was sure that I, at the very least, was in heaven. I begin to wonder if Heaven has levels like hell does in that story…_Dante's Inferno_. I also wonder if it's blasphemy to think Quinn's transporting me through all of them, because while her kisses and touches were good, feeling her torso against mine is so much better. Although having her kiss, suck, and lick down my neck, along my clavicle, and the spaces between my still slightly visible ribs was better still. However, the time she spent worshipping what I thought were shamefully small breast beat that. I thought it was the best feeling ever until she straddled my leg, held my rear, and pulled our hips towards one another. When she slid her fingers through mine and kissed me as we climaxed I was sure there was so greater feeling. I hardly had time to appreciate it before her core met mine and I had a new favorite feeling that also ended in me seeing stars. That feeling, on the other hand, was promptly overthrown by the feel of her tongue on my center, tasting me…us, playing with my clitoris, delving into my heat. She was three for three and there was this glint in her eyes that let me know she was nowhere near ready to call it. Quinn let me calm myself down before she immediately worked me up again but this time it was different, she stayed close, lips either on mine or toying with my neck. It wasn't until then that I realized Quinn saved the pain for last and that knowledge alone made me feel like I was on another level of heaven. I slid my hand down to meet her heat and we added the second fingers at the same time. Quinn took longer to adjust but came first and I followed not even a minute after.

I honestly don't know if Quinn fell asleep or not but I woke up to the sounds if her crying her way through a pray as she clutched her cross in her right hand and cuddled into her pillow with her left. It had been maybe an hour or two since I assume I feel asleep and from the distance the wet spot on the pillow has spread I presume she's been at this for a while. I reached my arm out across the bed to hold her but that made her flinch and sob harder. She started to mutter her prayer faster and more into the hand that clutched at the cross as if my hearing her words somehow made them less compelling and incapable of conveying her regret.

"Quinn?" I called in the softest and most tender tone I can muster considering how hoarse my voice is but still she only tightens her grip on the cross and prays harder. "Quinn it's alright."

"Can you please go?" Quinn asks. "I just…I need you to go."

I quietly slip out from under the cover and Quinn quickly shuts her eyes and hides her face in the pillow. For a moment I think she maybe chanting "see no evil" into the pillow and I wonder if I should tell her she clutching her cross with her bloodied fingers but I'm afraid she'll really break down at that, especially now that her lips have a red coloration down the middle. When I'm dressed, I walk over to her desk and jot down my number and the least awkward of a thank you and call me if you need to talk note my brain can formulate. With a light kissed to her shoulder, because I can fathom leaving without showing her that what we did mattered to me, I walk out the house and away from her watery prayers for forgiveness. I walk halfway across town, pass William McKinley which is still decorated with balloon for the orientation that took place earlier this morning; I contemplate how exactly I lost my virginity to a girl that I had only known for six hours and why precisely was I so happy about it. When I got home that night I wondered if Quinn was doing okay and if she'd still want to be my friend when we started high school together because I'm almost sure asking her to be my girlfriend is off the tables. My last conscious thought before I dreamed of disembodied hazel eyes, strangled moans, and desperate touches is how great I've prepared for my advanced English and Biology courses.

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**Author's Note:**

**Sorry for any mistakes. Again I do welcome a Beta just can't find one. Hoped you liked it. I won't keep you waiting long for updates because this isn't really as long and suspenseful as my normal stories are. In fact, it will probably be complete before next week.**

**Tell me what you think! Each chapter is time jumped.**

**-MissWriteProductions**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

**I'm a Liar but I finally got it up and its longer than the one I originally had planned...does that count for anything? No? Is it because I said it'd be done by now? Yes? Sorry? Right I'll get the next one out pronto.**

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**May Her Prayers Remain Unanswered**

**10:00**

"What are you doing here Quinn," I asked after we stared at one another in silence for over a minute.

"…Puck's having a New Year's party," Quinn announced after a moment and I didn't know whether to smile or cry at the sound of her voice for the first time since she told me to get out of her bed at the beginning of the summer.

"Do you need help finding his house," I asked even though we could both hear the faint music coming from two streets over.

"No, I" Quinn stopped short and I could see a war brewing just behind the green flecks in her eyes. "I didn't ask them to do that stuff to you," Quinn blurts out a moment later and the war settles.

"…I know you didn't," I assured her after I realized what she was referring to. "I know we jumped the gun on being friends but I didn't think we regressed all the way to being enemies. I mean we did share something very special with each other, and while you may wish it never happened, it did and we'll forever share a connect with one another."

Quinn seemed to have tuned out somewhere during my response because it took her a few moments and one good shake of the head before she was able to continue with our conversation, "well I just came to tell you that…and give you this."

Quinn held out a small box with a gold bow on top, "you got me a gift?" I asked as I took the gift from her and opened it to find a gold star pendant with a date and a quote etched along the edge. "You remembered," I marveled more to myself than Quinn.

After a moment I sighed and pulled her into the house, "I actually shouldn't stay," she stammered out as I closed the door behind her. "I said I would go to Puck's party and it'd be rude if it didn't show up," she continued as I led her to my room and pushed her against the close door. "Rachel…Rachel please stop," she pleaded as I lean into her.

"Why," I asked when our lips were centimeters apart.

"It's wrong," she mumbled as her breathing started to pick up.

"No it's not," I explained softly, "besides, how can something that feels so right be wrong?"

"It doesn't feel right," Quinn maintained sternly. "It was a mistake…a lapse in judgment…and I have been praying for forgiveness ever since…and with God's grace all of these…feelings…will go away."

"How's that working for you," I questioned rather smugly.

"It will go better when I give you up," Quinn assured herself with a nod.

"I hardly think getting me a Christmas/Hanukah/New Year's gift is exactly giving me up," I said as I held the gift up for emphasis.

"Actually it is," Quinn confessed tiredly. "I'm going to stop treating you like you mean something to me. It's getting in the way of my success at the school."

"What do you mean," I asked resisting the urge to take a step back.

"I'm not going back to being unpopular," Quinn declared as she connected her eyes with mine since she I tried to kiss her. "I won't be a no body anymore."

"I highly doubt you were ever a no body Quinn," I teased kindheartedly. "You are far too beautiful to ever go unnoticed," I said repeating the word that started this in the first place. At the sound of the word Quinn tense and gets the same look in her eye that made me want to kiss her in the first place, "and from what I learned that day you have a beautiful personality, an undervalued sense of humor, and the kindest heart I've seen since meeting Brittany." Tears started to pool in her eyes and this time I didn't stop myself from kissing her. It took three more tries before I could get her to kiss me back but when she did it was with a fire in her heart that she hadn't had last time. She smelt like hunger, felt like desire, taste like longing, sounding like desperation, and looked like need.

**11:15**

"Lucy Caboosey," she panted when she finished.

"Lucy who?" I asked as I turned and cuddled against her.

"Lucy's my first name," she explained a moment later. "Lucy was a grossly overweight, acne ridden, mousy haired preteen with a ugly nose who had no friends, was constantly made fun of by her peers, lived in the shadow of her perfect sister, and embarrassment of her family."

"…and who is Quinn," I asked not missing a beat.

"Quinn is a skinny, smooth skinned, blonde, with a $6,500.00 dollar nose, who has two close friends and an entire squad behind her, surpassing the shoes let by her sister, and the pride and joy of her family," Quinn replied with a hollow smile.

"Hm…" I drawled out after a moment, "I think I would have like Lucy just as much as I like you," I reckoned as I looked up to her and smiled. "I believe you're the same girl at heart Quinn."

"I don't want to be," Quinn whimpered.

"Lucy," I tested softly and felt her flinch. "Lucy," I called again as I kissed her neck and then again as I shifted to hover over her. "Lucy," I continued to call her as I worship ever past of her body, giving each part touches and kisses as offerings. "Gosh you're so beautiful Lucy," I gasped when she climaxed, surprised that she allowed me to touch her without her being in the process of touching me but marveled at the feeling of actually making love to her for the first time. "You shouldn't be afraid to be yourself Lucy," moaned as I brought myself to a close against her thigh while Quinn watched with a strange look of wonder coating her eyes. "Lucy?" I called one final time hoping for an answer.

**11:45**

"I think Lucy would have liked you too," Quinn said after a moment. "But Lucy doesn't exist anymore."

"Does Quinn like me?" I questioned after a moment.

"…No," Quinn surmised after a beat. "I can't do this anymore Rachel. I promised myself I wouldn't do this with you anymore. It was my new year's resolution."

"You say it like we've done this more than once," I snapped angrily.

"It doesn't matter how often we done this," Quinn sneered. "It shouldn't have happened in the first place."

"You're the one who's doing it," I shout from my spot astride her legs. "You come at me like a half human half sex goddess hybrid, holding me down and having your way with me three time before you actually let me touch you, then when you do you have to be touching me too. Sex wasn't even on my mind when I first kissed you, God Quinn, I-" Throughout my entire rant Quinn body becomes more and more rigid but the moment I say God she freaks out, pushes me off of her, and jumps out of my bed covering herself with my pillow. Tears pool in her eyes and she clutches at the cross around her neck as if she only just remembered her dedication to her religion. The praying starts again as she attempts to dress with one hand absolutely refusing to release her hold on the crucifix. "I don't understand you Quinn," I sigh as I continue to watch her fumble. "You came here, you brought me a gift…you wanted me to know that you weren't behind the name calling and jokes. Why are you reacting like this? What did you think would happen tonight?"

"I didn't want this," she cried, "I didn't plan on this."

"Why did you come here then?" I questioned as I sat up in bed allowing the cover to fall.

Quinn squirmed and tried to look away from my chest, "I came here to tell you that I was sorry."

"Sorry for what," I asked exasperatedly.

"I told you I'm giving you up for the New Year. It's my resolution," Quinn sighed.

"You haven't even talked to me in months," I objected hotly. "What is there to give up?"

"Ignoring you isn't enough. I still care about you Rachel…you were my first friend," Quinn confessed. "I wasn't talking to you but I still cared…but I can't anymore. I need to stop caring or I'll never be able to stop. Every time you look at me, every time we're alone, every time you kiss me I can't control myself and I need to control myself. God helps those who help themselves," Quinn stated sternly. "I need to start helping myself Rachel," Quinn whimpered. "I let you get into my head but this ends now. I'm not going to allow you to drag me into a life of sexual deviancy. There are better reasons to get sentenced to spend an eternity in hell than sleeping with you. God is testing me and I won't fail him," Quinn rants angrily. "I knew I should have walked away when you said you had two dads but I was excited. You were talking to me, you wanted to be my friend…I should have known you were going to try to convert me but I wanted you. I wanted a friend…I realize God's message now…one mustn't abandon their beliefs in the name of selfish pleasures, even if it means giving up the thing you've wanted the most," Quinn declared. Quinn holds up her hand clutching her cross, "I'm going to go home, ask for forgiveness, pray for salvation, and from tomorrow onward I'm going to treat you like the god forsaken-"

"You say you're giving me up for the New Year," I asked interrupting her for the first time after my watery eyes catch the time on the clock. "Why buy me a gift? Why did you come here?"

Quinn falters, "I- I- I bought it for you because… I know what happened was a big deal for you and I don't… I don't want you to remember that day and…you'll hate me but I just wanted you to know that…I came so to let you know…"

"I think I know what happened here tonight," I say as I get up from the bed, tears still slightly blurring my vision. "You came here on the last day of the year, the day before the day you have official decided to cease all contact and niceties with me, the last day your allowed to think of me in a positive light," I start as I walked into my closet and grab and small velvet box before making my way to Quinn, "because you wanted me one last time. You're about to start taking actions to get over me, in addition to praying, and the only thing you could see yourself doing before the year ended and all the things you've planned would start, is me. And so you bought me a gift, a gift so that would commemorate our first time…memorialize the day when I gave you my virginity and you gave me yours. A gift that would remind me of a time when you liked me, a time when we had a bond…and you went to Puck's party, found out where I lived, and you came to spend the night with me." Quinn started to shake her head and I'm finally inches away from her, "it's okay to want me to remember the day we spent together with joy instead of regret and its okay to want Quinn…to try to appease your hunger before you know the supply of it is about to run dry…but you should understand that I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not cutting you off. You're building a fence around me," I concluded as I close the space between our bodies but mostly our lips, slip the box housing the bracelet I bought her into her hand holding her dress in the back, and zip her dress for her. I pull back after two minutes and kiss the fist clutching her cross, "but I won't abandon you Quinn. I'll wait as long as it takes for you to come back to me," I pause before connecting our eyes and kissing her fist again, "I love you Lucy Quinn Fabray."

**12:01**

Quinn pushes me to the ground rather violently at that, and storms out of my house muttering prayers for forgiveness and begging for salvation. I look to my left and see the time on the clock, smile despite the tears that I realize recently started to run down my cheeks, and wonder if you really spend the year the same way to ring it in.

I get slushied the first day of school in the New Year and I know its Quinn, but take to wearing the star pendent everywhere wordlessly rubbing it in everyone's face that I was with the most sought after girl in school and silently reminding Quinn of what we had. I know she'll break eventually.

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**Author's Note:**

**Comments Please?**

**-MissWriteProductions**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

**Okay, the next chapter will be the one where the relationship between Quinn and Rachel falls part. I'm not sure if you've notice but Rachel refuses to do anything that may cause whatever it is Quinn and she have to stop and Quinn is simply incapable of staying away. So how exactly does everything go to ruins? Hint: the reason behind it is mentioned in this chapter. Can you find it? Also, keep in mind the star pendent has an engraving I haven't stated and a purpose that hasn't been fully realized. Lastly, we must start to realize that the cracking and breaking of Lucy Quinn Fabray is meant in more than one way and that is also hinted at in this chapter but never actually stated straight forwardly. Can you find that in this chapter as well?**

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**May Her Prayers Remain Unanswered**

I took me a while to adapt to the situation I had suddenly found myself in. The slushies were easy to deal with; in fact, I developed a finely tuned 10 step routine that started at the end of each school day. Step one: check levels of shampoo and conditioner in my emergency slushie kit. Step two: check supply of water proof paper bags. Step Three: wash slushie drenched clothes in R. B. Berry's Special Slushie Stain Removal Mix (I've started to bottle it and sell it to other slushie victims…mostly Jacob because it gives him a reason to follow me around for half the week before I can get it to him). Step Four: pack the outfit I actually want to wear tomorrow. Step Five: get ready without washing my hair. Step Six: dress in my oldest and least favorite clothes. Step Seven: keep my head up when I get slushied. Step Eight: wash up in the non-cheerio's locker room. Step Nine: put on the necklace Quinn gave me. Step Ten: finish the last twenty minutes of lunch in the auditorium. It was simple really but I can only wish dealing with Quinn was this easy though.

Quinn made it to March before she cracked again. It was half the length between our first time and New Year's but it seemed to affect her more. For a week she walked around school appearing sickly. It got so bad that Sue sent her to a doctor, citing, that she couldn't have her top candidate for next year's Head Cheerio blowing her fuse before she even put any work in. The doctor supposedly ran test but found nothing medically wrong with her but suggested it was psychological. Sue, of course, was not as compassionate to that idea and tore into Quinn for half an hour during lunch and again during practice. I found Quinn crying on the football field at around six that evening.

Having Quinn make love to me on the fifty yard line was not ideal but the striking sunset below incoming storm clouds painted such a beautiful picture above us and I quickly got over it. It sunset seemed to also fit perfectly with Quinn's emotions that night. She was gentle while the storm clouds were fighting unsuccessfully with the sun to dictate the color of the evening sky, but she became rougher when the longing died down and passion became her only fuel. I could understand it though, if I was in her position I'd probably be upset that I couldn't stay away from her and I'd probably even be mad at her for making me feel these things. So I didn't really mind the bruise that formed from when she started to hold my hands down, the bites to my neck, collar, or the ones that outlined every hickey, the scratches on my back and shoulders, and even the small crescent shaped cuts that she left along my jaw from when she turned my head away when she climaxed as the clouds finally won out and blanketed the sky in an angry purple. I want to say that she cried the worst and prayed the most after that time but I think it was only made all the more the dramatic by the heavens opening up and drenching us in rain. So the rational side of me thinks it takes second to our first time, but the dramatic side thinks it's either equal or beats it; especially when you factor in bloods on her finger tips from the cuts taking the place of the virginal blood.

That was the second time she cracked, but now it she can only last a month and a half or two before she starts to look ill again. At first I didn't know how long she'd walk around looking sickle before she'd be ready to be with me but then I notice during these days she would carry her book bag like she was afraid someone would figure out what she was carrying inside it or rather she herself was afraid of something inside it. Next, I noticed her wearing the bracelet I bought her during one of our rendezvous and it clicked. Now every day she walks into school running on an hour of sleep and holding her bag like it's the portal to hell, I look to see if she's wearing the bracelet and when she is I normally find her somewhere in town crying while she cursed her weakness.

It was the last day of freshman year and while Quinn's strength had worn thin again she had yet to put on the bracelet at the end of the day. On my way out of the school I was greeted by a quarter of the hockey team at the front doors and each player was carrying two slushies. My first thought was to take of Quinn's necklace and so that's what I did. I realized immediately that that was a wrong decision.

"Are you holding out on us Berry?" Rick asked as he grabbed the necklace while I was still in the process of releasing the lock. "Aw…it's a star," Rick said to the group. "Stars are kind of my thing." Rick mimic as he pulled off my neck breaking the clasp.

"Give that back," I commanded stepping forward.

"You can have it Berry," Rick jeered, "just as soon as groundkeeper Mickey's dog shits it out," Rick sneered as he began walking towards where the dog was tied up. "I'm sorry Berry, but I'm going to have to tell Mickey I saw the necklace slip right off your neck and his old bitch here just couldn't resist. Right guys?" Rick asked but the team didn't reply, in fact, they choose instead to cast their gazes to the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?" Quinn asked as she appeared like a ghost at his side.

"I'm just giving Berry here an end of the year present. You know, just a little something to remember us by during the summer," Rick said timidly. Quinn was noticeably more cruel when the longing had built up to this point and everyone knew not to set her off.

"What were you about to do?" Quinn questioned, her voice as cold as the absolute zero.

"I was going to give her necklace," Rick started opening his palm to show the star, "a ride down snowball's digestive track."

Quinn stared at the necklace for quite a long time before snapping her fingers. Santana and Brittany appeared on command and Quinn looked up at me for the first time, "give it to me," she demanded. When Rick looked at me waiting like half the crowd for me to move I almost felt sorry for him. Quinn sighed aggravatedly and Santana kicked Rick forcefully in the back of his knees, causing him to fall to them. "Give it to me," Quinn demanded again and Rick seemed to realize that the request was directed to him even though her eyes weren't on him. "Britt," Quinn called her voice softer but no less cold.

"Yeah Quinn," Brittany asked a little apprehensively, worrying she's have to be violent like Santana.

"Take out your snip snips," Quinn said her voice even softer. "I think Rick here need your helping hand."

Brittany perked up at this and procured a pair of scissors from her bag and moved to stand in front of Rick, "How short do you want it Rick?"

"No not my hair!" Rick shouted out, his hand going to his nice, Ron Weasley length, ginger hair.

"No Britt, I think it's time Rick here learns what it feels like to have something of sentimental value adopt a negative association for a while," Quinn interjected. "I mean that's what you were going to do to Berry except yours will grow back and you can forget about it. Every time she would have seen this necklace she would have now had to associate it with sifting through feces...It's not nice to ruin something that means so much to someone. I mean, we're popular," Quinn urged. "…but were not monsters," Quinn asserted. "...Brittany I think he'd love the hairstyle you've been dying to see in person."

"Really?" Brittany asked. "But you said no one in their right mind would still wear their hair like that."

"Rick's not in his right mind Britt," Quinn assured. "He'd love to wear it."

"Okay!" Brittany exclaimed. Five minutes later, when Brittany stopped in the middle of the hair cut, the crowd busted out laughing. "Yeah, a mullet looks stupid," Brittany concluded as she stood up.

"I think it fits Richard pretty nicely," Quinn decided. "Don't you like it Richard?" Rick nodded. "Tell Brittany how much you like it."

"I like what you did Brittany," Rick seethed.

"How long are you going to keep it for Rick," Quinn asked.

"All summer," Rick answered and Quinn sighed. Santana grabbed at his longer hairs and tightened her grip. "Thanksgiving?" Again. "New Year's?" Tighter still. "Easter?" At this Santana gave it a tug. "I'll keep it a year okay," Rick pleaded. "A year!"

"Oh now you're just breaking Brittany's heart," Quinn taunted. "So close and yet so far."

"Okay, let's compromise. You want a year and I want three," Quinn puzzled. "I see your friends have thirteen slushies. How about four for each season I'm giving up and interest for each season I'm trusting you to keep your hair like this," Quinn asked but talked over his reply. "That equals twelve," Quinn said as Brittany, Santana, and she stepped aside. The hockey players knew not to wait around for Quinn's order and began to slushie their top player. "I think we have deal," Quinn concluded taking the last slushie from the remaining player's hand and turning to me. "It's after three on the last day of school, first day of summer, we all have better things to do that to sit around and slushie losers like you. This will be waiting for you when you come back," Quinn said before she gave the slushie to Brittany, who drank it happily, as the trio walked away.

It took until I was going over my day with my dads to realize Quinn still had my necklace and that the fist gripping so tightly to it was connected to a bracelet adorned wrist. After that realization, it only took two hours of biking around Lima to find her crying on the merry-go-round in the playground between Belleville Middle School and Elementary just after nine.

"They used to force the class loser to sit in this," Quinn started once I had been sitting quietly next to her for over ten minutes. "They would call it The Loser's Time Out. Every recess they'd force me to sit down and spun it until I cried and then they'd make sure I stayed on it until recessed finished while they played," Quinn recalled miserably. "When recessed finished they'd say I had better been watching, learning how to act normal because if I didn't then tomorrow I'd go back in. …Do you know what the sad part is?" Quinn asked after a moment had passed, "...Even when we stopped having recess in the playground and had it on the black top, I still came and sat here and watched everyone...trying to figure out how to be normal…after all these years I had thought I learned," Quinn finished before starting to cry even harder.

Our most intimate sex was when she was struggling with thoughts of Lucy. I think it's because Lucy deepest desire was not to just love but to be loved, while Quinn's is to not just be loved but to love…to love me. When there was a war between both was the only time our relationship seemed to be at peace, "normality is overrated," I noted, speaking to her for the first time in a month. "Have you ever noticed that all the world's most interesting people aren't normal," I smiled. "We're destined to be great, you and I," I whispered as I leaned into her, "our uniqueness demands it." I kissed her after that, fully expecting her not to respond on my first attempted. "…and while they might not understand you, Lucy Quinn Fabray, I do," I said before I kissed her again. This time she followed my retreating lips but she still didn't kiss back, "and I love you and I'll continue loving you even if everyone else doesn't," I said for the second time in our entire relationship. Quinn looked at me curiously, as if she was didn't understand what I had said or even why I was there but I didn't dwell on it for too long. If she had something to ask me or tell me she would do it in her own time. I simply wiped her tears and kissed her one last time knowing she'd respond.

I was sitting in her lap when we finished and she was staring into my tired eyes with the same inquisitive look and for the first time I noticed her breathing was strangely subdued for all that we had just done. Her heartbeat was mysteriously soft as well and her hands felt unusually light on me. Her ears never strayed that far from my lip, even when I screamed, almost as if her hearing had mysteriously diminished, and behind the quizzical look, her eyes were oddly dimmed and removed. For some reason this things both frightened and calmed me. Quinn began to moved her gaze from my eyes to my necklace that had found a home on her wrist next to her bracelet. After a moment Quinn took the necklace and slipped it around my neck. She nodded her head in approval but the curious stare remained. Taking a chance, I suddenly wrapped my arm around her and leaned my head on her shoulder. Surprisingly her only response was to hold onto me as well.

It was breaking eleven when she went limp and eleven on the dot when she started to fidget and pretty soon she was shoving her way out of my arms. Everything that felt different before was now so overtly Quinn that the feeling of calmness and fear strengthened. Quinn stared down at me after I fell to the floor and quickly pulled off her bracelet, allowing it to connect with the base of the merry-go-round. "I don't want to be great with you," Quinn spat, like no time had passed between my saying our uniqueness demands it and now. "I want to be normal...I'll learn to be normal. I swear I will," Quinn said clutching her cross and staring off into the playground and black top as if it held the answers to all her problems. This is the first and only night she cried silently and even though her mouth was moving as she prayed, the words were either said at a sound frequency only God could her or not at all. I waited until she got on her bike before I did the same and rode the long journey home three feet behind her.

I didn't see Quinn for the entire summer but I heard she went to a Christian sleep away camp for the last two weeks. Needless to say she found a new a courage in her conviction and it was nearing Thanksgiving before she broke again.

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**Author's Note:**

**Did you have a sense about who or what would ruin their relationship?**

**Did you also catch the way in which Quinn breaking?**

**Tell me what you think.**

**Oh and please review because chapter four, will be the hardest to write. Review inspire and add drive. Plus, I'm kind of lazy and need readers to keep me on my game.**

**-MissWriteProductions**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**

**Hello Readers, I've finally finished chapter four. I'm not entirely happy with it. I feel like I've forgotten something, but it's my fault for waiting months to get back to it. Warning, many of you will not be one hundred percent happy with Rachel and/or Quinn after this chapter. It was always coming to this though, so I couldn't have taken another path if I wanted to. There is one more chapter left but I think I might have a small chapter in between where Rachel finds out about some of the stuff that happens in this chapter and after.**

**Note during the glee club performance when Rachel starts to sing with the others because you'll find it matches her feelings for Quinn perfectly. Also the reason for Rachel and Quinn ending is...Jacob Ben Israel...but already knew that from the huge (tiny) clue I left for you.**

* * *

The video had been playing for maybe four minutes and I could positively say that everyone in the audience but the parents of the students featured in it were tuning the video out. Jacob Ben Israel had shot a documentary about the injustice of the social hierarchy found within high schools and if our performance for glee club wasn't immediately afterwards I was sure I could have easily talked my parents into leaving early. Not a second after that idea came to mind, Rachel's beautiful face graced the screen.

_"Hey Rachel," Jacob called, "Care to lend a minute to be in my documentary. I wanted to save the best for last."_

_"Why of course Jacob. I should start to practice for the many news specials and documentary's that I will be featured in, in my inevitable future. So what topic am I discussing? My amazing style? The importance of perseverance? Or the piece de resistance…my spectacular voice?" Rachel asked before giving her award winning smile._

_"Bullying," Jacob said, "but think we can fit everything else you said into that category."_

_"Ah, well the slushies are only as bad as you make them out to be," Rachel said with the same smile._

_"Yes, we'll I already interviewed many guys about the slushies. I want to talk about girl on girl bullying. Specifically you and Quinn Fabray."_

_Rachel's smile faltered, "I have nothing to say about Quinn and my interactions," Rachel said after a pause. "Everyone has their own coping methods."_

_"What is do-" Jacob started before he was cut off by Sue screaming down the hallway at Quinn. _

_"I swear Fabray you better work out your crap or you're off the squad. I don't have time to feign concern about your mental stability. You think high school hard! Try stealing money from a Nigerian, that's hard!" Sue yelled before slamming her office door as Quinn continued to walk away flanked by Santana and Brittany._

_The second Sue was out of sight Santana placed her hand on Quinn's shoulder and pushed her into the locker. _

_"You need to fix this Quinn," Santana urged her captain as calmly as possible. "Sue is about to cut you from the squad."_

_"No she's not," Quinn said as she brushed Santana's hand off of her shoulder. "My performance hasn't declined. Sue doesn't have any grounds."_

_"People come to see us dance and compete because we are hot teenage girls in short skirt displaying our flexibility. Emphasis on hot Quinn! Don't get me wrong. You're beautiful but not like this you aren't. You look like the walking dead like this."_

_"Quinn," Brittany said softly. "We're just worried about you. Most days your fine and then this happens and each time it does it takes longer to go away. Coach is just trying to motivate you."_

_"Look Q," Santana said. "No one knows what the fuck it is that keeps getting you like this but we know you know what it takes to fix. So you need to find it, whatever it is, and get yourself out of this slump. Coach knows you can do it if you want to, everyone in school knows. No one knows what's stopping you though."_

_Quinn stared daggers in Santana's the second she started her little speech and by the end of it her facial expression was murderous. "Don't presume to know anything about me," Quinn said as she back Santana into the lockers on the other side of the hall. "You don't know any-" Quinn paused for the first time noticing Jacob and Rachel just down the hallway. "Are you recording me JewFro?"_

_"I was interviewing Rachel for-"Jacob started._

_"Did I give you permission to record me? I know what you do with the footage you record and I'll be damned if I allow you to add me for your wank bank," Quinn said as she started to approach the pair. "And really Jacob, your crush on Berry is pathetic. You're both at the bottom of the pyramid but at least she has the self-worth to dream a little bigger. Tell how does it feel to know the only girl in school you're capable of getting wants someone else?"_

_"Well she may want someone else but I'm her reality. I'm the only one that wants her," Jacob said staring down at the floor. _

_"I think that maybe the nicest compliment you've ever received, right Berry?" Quinn asked with a smile. "Jacob's the only one that wants you. You should take your eyes off of someone that doesn't and focus on fellow scum of the earth like this one here," Quinn stated before she saw Rachel's left hand moved up to tenderly hold the gold star pendent. With a frown Quinn took a step into Rachel's personal space, "you need to back off before I do something you'll regret." Quinn and Rachel stared into one another's eyes for a few moments before Quinn took a step, "get me on footage again JewFro and I'll end you."_

_"If you're in my shot with Rachel I'll have no choice but to record you," Jacob noted defiantly._

_"It's a good thing I'm normally not within five feet of this freak," Quinn said before walking towards Santana and Brittany. Quinn nodded towards Santana while she took Brittany's hand and lead her away._

_"JewFro," Santana called, "How about I escort you to the men's room," Santana said as she grab Jacob's collar and dragged him. Santana stared down the guy with the camera until he stopped following her. _

_"Are you okay Rachel," the camera guy asked._

_"I'm fine," Rachel said with a slight frown. "Quinn's not really that bad if you understand her."_

_"Do you really make it a point to understand the people bullying you?"he asked._

_"When you don't turn your eyes away from the rest of the world many more things will start to make sense to you," Rachel said before closing her locker and walking away._

The screen when black for a moment and I knew Jacob was about to show the follow up where he tries to show how the loser he picked were actually "cool." I thought maybe he'd show Rachel singing so I continued to sit calmly in my seat as people started to judge me silently. I was the only bully actually featured in the video, mentioned by name, and caught in the act. Needless to say I'd get a few stares when I sang in a few minutes.

_"Where do you think she is," the camera guy asked as he video captured an empty auditorium. _

_"She's probably looking for props in the prop room again," Jacob offered as she led the way backstage._

_"You really do stalk her don't you?" the camera man asked. _

_"No, I've simply established patterns in her behavior," Jacob said smiling at the camera. "Come on she only has time for one more song before she leaves." Jacob stops at the slightly opened door to the prop room and pauses when he finds Rachel asleep on the bed in the middle of the room._

_"She's asleep," the cameraman whispers as Jacob opens the door a little more and freezes when he spots Quinn sitting on a chair muttering to herself while staring at the brunette._

_"Shit its Quinn," Jacob shushed. _

_"Do you think we should wake Rachel up or call for help or something? Quinn can become cruel when she's like this," the cameraman reminded Jacob as he struggled to get everything on camera through the small gap._

_"Why is she only in her sports bra," Jacob mused softly. "..Wait why is she only in her sports bra and skirt. Where are her shoes, socks, cheerio sanction ponytail and top?"_

_"I don't think we should be here Jacob," the cameraman whispered. "If Quinn finds us I think she might actually kill us."_

_"I told her if she is in frame with Rachel I'd record her. Let's just see how this plays out for a while," Jacob pleaded before he leaned in closer to the gap to hear better, "I wish I could hear what she's saying," Jacob said straining his neck for a little longer before giving up. Instead he began to analyze the room, noticing the clothes on the floor and Rachel's bare arm escaping from under her covers. "Dude I think they had sex!"_

_"Don't be ridiculous Jacob," the cameraman sighed. "It's Quinn and Rachel we're talking about."_

_Another few seconds went by and the only movement on film was the rapid fluttering of Quinn's lips, but after few moments Rachel started to reach around on the bed. When she couldn't find another warm body, she quickly launched herself into the sitting position looked around the bed and room frantically until her eyes landed on Quinn. Rachel swallowed the sob caught in her throat and smiled weakly, "I thought you left me." When Quinn didn't respond Rachel spoke up again, "You've never left me to wake up by myself before. I was afraid it meant something."_

_"Don't flatter yourself Rachel," Quinn said releasing the cross from its cage between her lips. "…you're wearing my top. I need it back."_

_"Oh, um…," Rachel stuttered as she looked down at the backwards top hanging loosely from her chest and revealing the sides of her bare breasts. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry about the handcuffs too."_

_Quinn got up and slowly walked over to pick up Rachel's bra and revealed a broken handcuff on each hand. Quinn handed Rachel the bra and sat down in front of her blocking her from view of the camera. "I thought you were going to stop and I sort of panicked."_

_"Really? Was that it was?" Quinn asked skeptically._

_"I missed you Quinn," Rachel sighed after a minute. "It's been such a long time. I didn't want it to end." Rachel handed Quinn's top back and watched sadly as she put it on. "I'll zip it for you." When Quinn didn't respond Rachel zipped it anyway, moving as slowly as possible as if to savor every fleeting moment. After she finished Rachel didn't move her hands and started to worry her bottom lip in her mouth. With a deep breath Rachel moved to kiss the space between Quinn's neck and shoulder. Rachel's hand moved up into Quinn's hair and slowly turned Quinn's face towards her as she kiss her way up to her lips and waited for Quinn to respond to her advances. It only took a second for a spurned on Quinn to push Rachel back down onto the bed and hover over her._

_"If we shoot anymore of this Jacob we could be charged with child pornography," the cameraman said as he started to lower the camera. _

_"Are you kidding this is perfect for blackmail," Jacob said as he pushed the camera back to the scene taking place on the bed. _

_Quinn's lips traveled down to Rachel's neck, "I was worried you wouldn't come back to me this time," Rachel moaned. All of Quinn's ministrations on Rachel's body came to a halt and Quinn slowly moved away from her. Rachel panicked at the loss of contact and the questioning look Quinn had on her face. "I mean I never gave up hope. I always hope each day will be the day you come back to me. It's just that you were walking around for a while looking lost. You lasted a week and a half before carrying the bracelet around with you and another week and a half before finally wearing it." Quinn looked down at the bracelet around her wrist and frowned. "I should have never been worried. I should have just trusted what we have" Rachel said as she attempted to kiss Quinn again only to have Quinn back away from her and move from on top of her._

_"Am I that safe a bet to you?" Quinn asked, speaking for the first time in a while. "Are you that sure that I'll always come back?"_

_"Quinn," Rachel began to plead. "It's not like that."_

_"Gosh, sometimes I can be so stupid," Quinn said as she settled against the other side of the bed. "Is that what you do when I'm away? So you sit there and laugh at my attempts to get over this? Do you laugh at me when I pray? When I cry about this at night? Do you find joy in my struggle? Sitting around waiting for me lose it and come running straight back to you?" Quinn asked getting angrier with each question. _

_"Quinn please," Rachel begged calmly. "I don't take pleasure in your pain and you know that?"_

_"Then why are you always waiting around for me to crack?"Quinn asked. "You don't take me seriously. You've said it yourself. You don't think you have a reason to be worried. You think that I'll always come back and so you wait for me? What if I didn't? What if I'd have stayed strong? What if I found out I really did love Puck or Finn?"_

_"But you didn't," Rachel noted. Quinn scoffed and attempted to get up but Rachel launched herself across the bed and held Quinn down, "I'm sorry I didn't mean that. Look I get it okay. I don't seek you out Quinn. You always come to me. I respect your attempts to find yourself and become right with God. I do…I swear I do. I just… What would you have me do Quinn? I've made it no secret that I want you. I want to be with you. I don't want to give up… I sometimes think about my future and each time I do you're always in it. So no, I don't hope for you to fail at something you desperately want, but can you blame me for dreaming for something I desperately want."_

_"You see me in your future," Quinn asked after a moment._

_"Always," Rachel said smiling._

_"In what capacity?" Quinn asked._

_"In any way I can way I can have you," Rachel said softly._

_"Jeez Rachel," Quinn said pushing Rachel off of her. "What is wrong with you? I treat you like crap, I ignore you, I use you when I need you, and I pray nightly for you to disappear from the face of the earth…and you want me in any way you can have me? Don't you want more for yourself?" Quinn paused as she shook her head sadly, "maybe the reason I can't fix my problem is because you have a problem too. Nobody in their right mind would let me touch them the way that I touch you after doing treating you the way I do. For goodness sakes Rachel where is your self-respect."_

_"It's not a matter of self respect Quinn. When it comes to love, no matter what anyone tells you; something, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant it may be to others, is infinitely better than nothing at all" Rachel said as she laid down and pulled Quinn to lie beside her and play the part of the little spoon. "I love you and I know you love me," Rachel whispered._

_"No I don't," Quinn countered quickly._

_"We'll see," Rachel sighed._

_"I have to go Rachel," Quinn said trying to get up._

_"Wait no," Rachel protested. "You still owe me time."_

_"Excuse me," Quinn asked incredulously. _

_"We always talk for a little while before…becoming intimate and we didn't this time so. W-we should talk now."_

_"I have nothing to stay," Quinn responded softly._

_"I can talk this time," Rachel offered. "I'll talk to you about my dreams." The cameraman caught Quinn bite her lip but Rachel didn't wait for an answer as she wrapped the girl in her arms. "They're all simple really, in most of them I'm backstage getting ready for a performance when you come into my dressing room. You wish me luck and you kiss me. Then when I'm walking up onto the stage I catch you in the crowd looking up from you phone because you know that that's my queue. On stage, I'm talking to my love interest but my eyes are just behind him staring at you because you're mouthing his lines, whispering his sweet nothings." Quinn gives a small smiles but Rachel doesn't see it. "I have another one," Rachel continues, "I'm writing my album and all the songs are about you. So I lock myself in my study to make sure you don't hear any of them until it done. I'll trick some night by singing heavy metal songs in a more soul like style and laugh when your assistance finally tells you I got if from his iPod and that the song most definitely isn't about you. Then one night, your birthday, I sit you down and I spend an hour singing you all fourteen songs. When I finish I say thank you and you kiss me." Quinn smile grows slightly still. "There's another one, it's my last day on set for the movie I'm working on and I haven't seen you in a while. There's a wrap party that night but I can only make it halfway through before I just want to go to the house I'm renting and sleep. When I get there you still trying to make the house look pretty and I walk in on you walking up the stairs with a quarter empty bag of rose petals. You frown and say I'm still supposed to be at the party and I tell you the fast I went to sleep the faster I could fly out to see you in the morning. You smile and I ask you if you need help and we spend the next thirty minutes decorating the house. After we finish you tell me you missed me and you kiss me." A small tear drops onto Quinn pillow and Rachel sigh before continuing, "I've only ever had this last one once," Rachel admits. "We're at the Academy Awards and you're onstage accepting your award and you talk about hard your teenage years were and when you finish you instead of walking to the post award interview you run off stage and walk to me. You tell me you love me and you kiss me."_

_"Why do I kiss you in each one of them," Quinn asks after a pause. "You always dream of me kissing you, why?"_

_"Because…I always initiate, even today when all you wanted was to be with me I still had to kiss you first. I guess I just fantasize about what that'd be like," Rachel mused._

_"...I'm glad you have your dreams Rachel," Quinn said, "because at the very least no one can take that away from you. Not even me."_

_"What do you dream about?" Rachel asked hopefully._

_"No Rachel, my dreams aren't anywhere close to yours and you should probably know that," Quinn sighed. "My dreams reflect reality. I dream about you going to New York and never coming back. I dream about your family up and moving away. I dream about waking up one day and realizing that my prayers have been answered. I dream about surviving my entire life never having to feel your touch again," Quinn continued in quick succession before taking a shaky breath. "I dream about being happy and just like your dreams about being fame and Broadway, I'm going to do everyone in my power to make my dreams come true."_

_"Why are you being so mean?" Rachel asked with tears in her eyes. _

_"The second you stop expecting me to love you will be the second I stop being mean," Quinn yelled in frustration._

_"So you were serious when you told me to date Jacob," Rachel asked._

_"I mean everything I tell you Rachel," Quinn said sitting up in bed._

_"So what do you want me to do?" Rachel asked sitting up and watching Quinn put on her shoes. "What do you want me to shack up with Jacob so I'm not just waiting around for you? What do you want me tied in some relationship so you can actually have a chance to pray yourself straight. You want me out of the way so you won't feel guilty when you attempt to fuck the gay out of your system by going back and forth between Finn and Noah? Or maybe it's something else? Have you admitted to yourself that you can't fight this off and decided it's better to be lesbian in theory than in practice!"_

_"I'm not a lesbian!" Quinn shouted as she jumped off the bed and turn to look at Rachel with a fire in her eye that was all Quinn. Rachel hadn't seen that look in a while, normally when Quinn looks at Rachel she sees a mixture of Quinn and Lucy, and sometimes when they make love all she sees is Lucy. However, in rare times like this, when Quinn was angry all she could see was a coldness and hatred that was all Quinn. Normally this would signal Rachel to cool down and make sure she didn't say something that would send the blonde running but Rachel's rage had built to the point that that was no longer possible._

_"Of course not," Rachel mocked. "God's going to save you. You're going to continue to fuck me within an inch of my life every few months and pray to God in the interim and everything will be okay. You're going to let me kiss you every time, because that way I started it and so I'm at fault. You're going to fuck me until the day we graduate and when I'm gone you'll convince yourself it was a phase and try to build a life with Finn or is it Puck or maybe it's the one that makes you the most straight."_

_"I am not a lesbian!" Quinn screamed again shaking with rage, but all the while tears began to pool in her eyes and immediately started to cascade down her face._

_"Really? Did Sunday school work out for you? Or was it Christian summer camp? It must have been right because it kept you away from me until now. Oh but wait weren't you just knuckle deep in me? I guess that doesn't have to count. Though I'm pretty sure coming on your mouth must have counted," Rachel continued in a fit of rage._

_"Shut up Rachel! I'm not a lesbian. This is a test," Quinn urged violently._

_"I'm sure you're going to ace it with flying colors," Rachel sneered._

_"__**The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.**__He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters__**.**__**He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.**__**Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.**__ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.__**Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever,**__" Quinn said as she backed herself into the corner and prayed clutching at her cross, closing her eyes to Rachel's slow approach. _

_"Amen," Rachel said as she bent down front of Quinn. "Is this the prayer you're always whispering into your cross when I wake up? You know sometime I pray too," Rachel whispered. "Most times it's to say thanks and to give praise. I only ever do it when I'm at the Synagogue or with you. Have you heard me whisper Hallelujah when I'm with you? When I kiss you? When I touch you? I have to praise God," Rachel murmured. "I believe you to be one of his most beautiful creations and I have to tell him." Rachel took Quinn's hand in hers and kissed it before whispering Hallelujah. She did the same for her forearm, bicep, shoulder, neck, and lips, "I'm sorry I made you cry. Let me make it better," Rachel whispered before indulging in a sort make out session. "I'm sorry I made you cry, I just- I love you so much I just don't know what do with myself."_

_Quinn pulled her face way at that, "You're the lesbian not me," Quinn said slowly to add emphasis. "You love me, you kiss me, you want me, not the other way around. Yeah I run around looking sick for a few days but you find me, you find me and you kiss me because you love me, you want me. This is the last time this is ever going to happen, I swear that to you," Quinn snarled._

_Rachel's rage flared up once again, "and what makes this time different?" Rachel smirked._

_"It will be because I'm not going to do this on my own anymore. You're right going away for the summer helped me," Quinn urged._

_"What are you going to do join celibacy club? Use the joint powers of deluded virgins to stay away from me? Or are you beyond that? Are going to pull out the big guns and go to confessional? Won't you get the same orders that you're carrying out now. Pray three hail marys and try to stay away from me? Maybe you're at dooms day level! You should tell your dad, good old Russell Fabray, I bet he'd be some help. Would you go to a reform school if he asked you? Quinn nodded and Rachel gave her a look of revulsion. "And when that doesn't work and he ships you off to a better and farther one, you'd just go? Quinn nodded and started to stand. "And after you failed your way to the best and most brutal, you'd accept their torturous methods?" Quinn nodded and Rachel shoved her down and pinned her to the floor. "And when that doesn't work because you still look sick and you still want me, so they send you home and your father beats you within an inch of your life, you'll just take it? Rachel asked her words moist with tears but anger still apparent. Quinn nods again. "And when you're sorry excuse for a father hands you over to a guy he expects you to marry to rape you into submission…or maybe that's the punishment from your conditional love welding alcoholic of a moth-" Rachel never got a chance to finish as a fiery look took hold of Quinn eyes again and she freed her hand and promptly punched Rachel in the nose before pushing the girl off of her. _

_"Don't you ever talk about my mother!" Quinn yelled as she walked to her backpack. "You think you're sorry now Rachel this is nothing next to what I'll do if I ever hear you talk about her again."As Quinn went to pick up her bag she saw the blood coating her knuckles and froze. "Shit," Quinn said as finally heard Rachel's crying and turned around. "Shit," Quinn said again as she rushed to Rachel's side grabbing her top off the floor and using it to stop the blood. "Shit Rachel I'm sorry," Quinn apologized. "I'm so sorry."_

_"I thought I could always say that while you always hurt me it was never physically or intentionally," Rachel murmured._

_"I'm really sorry," Quinn repeated looking at the ground._

_"I'm not upset with you Quinn," Rachel said. "It's my fault. I let my anger get the best of my and I always promised myself I wouldn't. I said horrible things that…I don't even know where they came from. I've never thought about any of that stuff before I don't know why I said it."_

_"Don't worry about it," Quinn sighed. _

_"No, I – I've never hurt you before and I did today and I'm sorry because…because I love you and that wasn't right. What I said wasn't right," Rachel said and she started to sob harder," and you're going to hate me and even if you do get better and you're not gay, you won't want to be my friend and that's what we started off as and that's the least I can see us as. I don't want to live with any less than that Quinn. I don't think I can," Rachel whined._

_"Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you hadn't walked me home after orientation last year?" Quinn asked as she tentatively wiped the tears from Rachel's face._

_"…sometimes. When it's been awhile since you've even acknowledged me, the slushies are bad, and the glee club pushes me down…I wonder if we would have still been friends. I wonder if cheerios would have eventually stolen you away from me, or if you would have let me walk beside you as you ruled the school. I wonder if Santana and I would get alone, if you'd have joined glee club earlier, and if we'd plan to leave Lima together…but what I wonder about the most is if I'd have still kissed you and I realized I probably would. I can't help it. I'd probably always choose to ruin our friendship for a chance to feel your lip against mine," Rachel chuckle self-deprecating. "I'd even kiss you now if you'd let me."_

_Quinn was silent for a few moments, "I need the key to the handcuff. The bed help break the chain but I don't have anything on me to pick the lock."_

_Rachel stands and using the back of her hands to wipe the moisture around her eyes as she walks to a chest across the room. When she finds the small pair of keys, she throws them to Quinn, "I hope it didn't bruise."_

_"I put in my request to transfer out of my honor classes into the AP class," Quinn said when she was finally able to pull the cheap imitation cuffs from her wrists._

_"The only classes that you have that aren't already AP are the ones…the ones you share with," Rachel said as she fell heavily into sitting position on the bed._

_"I'm also going to quit glee club," Quinn continued, "and inquire into my ability a transfer to Carmel High in the New Year."_

_"Anything else?"Rachel asked dejectedly. _

_"I think I'll call one of those reform places and see if I can get a weekly over the phone session," Quinn responded calmly as she stood up and brushed some dust off herself._

_"Quinn please," Rachel began, voice heavy with emotion, "Please don't do this?"_

_"You said you'd support me if what I truly wanted was to get better right? This is me getting better," Quinn supplied with feigned confidence. "Support me."_

_"I'll never see you gain will I," Rachel asked._

_"I invited my parents to the talent show. I can't back out now but maybe after that," Quinn replied truthfully as she took off her bracelet and moved to drop it in the palm of Rachel's hand._

_"I bought this for you Quinn. It's yours Quinn…I want you to have it," Rachel said as she tried to catch Quinn's hand to give it back but Quinn had taken several steps back. "Quinn?"_

_"I don't need it anymore Rachel," Quinn said as she grabbed her bag from the floor. "I'm not going to do this anymore."_

_"Can I at least get a proper goodbye?"Rachel asked._

_"Rachel, I don't think that's a good idea," Quinn said turning to the door._

_"Lucy," Rachel called out hesitantly but it succeeded in making Quinn stop. "Please come here." Quinn turned slowly and walked back to Rachel to be pulled into a warm embrace. "I'll always care about you know but I hope you find what you're looking for," Rachel assured quietly before connecting her lips with Quinn's. When Quinn responded it wasn't the same as all the times before, this kiss was slow, passionate, and full of sorrow. _

_When they broke apart, Quinn opened her gym bag and handed Rachel a shirt to wear, "here. I'm sorry I punch you in the nose. I hope you can salvage your top," Quinn said before she turned around. "Bye Rachel."_

_"Dude we need to hide," the cameraman said as he dragged Jacob into the shadows near the prop room before Quinn walked out of the room and out the side exit. _

_After a minute the Jacob went back to the door and the camera caught Rachel standing in front of the mirror using concealer to cover up the fresh bruises on her skin. For the first time the camera was able to get a good view of Rachel and bruises were now visible on just about every area of her skin. She's done her neck but yet to do the part of her chest that would more often than not be visible to the public. There were scratches on her back, hickeys on her neck, chest, abs, the parts of her thigh her skirt didn't cover, and even her back, bite marks around her knuckles, and a slight discoloration along her calves that revealed not a single clue as to their creation. _

_Rachel started to him as her hand moved down to work along her clavicle and every so often whisper out the words of the song in her head, "Oh my girl I love her so. She'll never know. All my life is just despair, but I don't care. When she takes me in her arms the world is bright, alright. What's the difference if I say; I'll stay away, when I know I'll come back on my knees someday. Oh whatever my girl is I am hers forever more."_

_"Told you we'd get her singing," Jacob said with a smile._

The screen went black once more and the auditorium was completely silent. I had a death grip on my armrests and the only thing keeping in my seat and my fist from Jacob's face was the death grips my parents had on me and still the video was not done.

_"Hey Rachel," Jacob said as he walked over._

_"Hello Jacob," Rachel sighed wiping the slush from her eyes. "What can I do for you?"_

_"I was going to ask you what happened to your nose but I guess that takes back seat now," Jacob smirked. "It's like open season on you since yesterday. "Ten slushies everyday and none of them are from Quinn. It's like she completely forgot about you. She doesn't even shove you out of the way, make fun of you, or laugh at you anymore. What happened?"_

_"I wouldn't know Jacob," Rachel murmered starting to turn away._

_"It's like you're no longer her play thing anymore and now the entire school can have their fun at your expense," Jacob noted making Rachel frown. "Anyway what happened to your nose? Did Quinn take it too far? Is that why she's leaving you alone?"_

_"I simply tripped and fell while grabbing something in the prop department Jacob," Rachel said robotically. "It had nothing to do with Quinn. I have to go now."_

_Jacob snickered while Rachel walked away and turned to walk down the hall, "Quinn Fabray," Jacob smiled as he arrived at his destination._

_"What did I say about the camera JewFro?" Quinn asked from her place under Puck's arm._

_"One question," Jacob rushed, "all I want to know is if those are handcuff bruises on your wrist?"Quinn face turn to stone and Jacob smiled, "Nice job Puck, or was it Finn, maybe it was someone completely different this time or maybe it's always been someone different."_

_"Quit it dude," Puck said nonchalantly, "as much as I'd like to lay claim to that. It's just a cheerleading injury."_

_Quinn pulled herself out from under Pucks arm, "I'm going to class." Puck nodded and leaned down to kiss her put she backed up and stared coldly in his eyes. When he nodded she turned her cheek to him and he gave her a peck. "I'll see you tonight at the talent show."_

_After Puck watched Quinn walk away he sighed and grabbed Jacob by his shirt and Matt grabs the cameraman, "you should learn to stop pissing Quinn of Jacob," Puck said as he led the boy outside and threw him into the dumpster and sent the cameraman in right behind him._

The screen when black for the final time and Jacob walked on stage for his bow as he was clapped for by nearly all of the losers and lower level of acceptable students in school, "thank you. Thank you so much," Jacob said before turning to look at me, "I hope to see change brought about thank to this movie. I sure that dream will be fulfilled," Jacob said before walking off stage.

A few seconds passed before the curtains opened and walked on stage and as luck would have it she was completely oblivious to everything that had just happened. For some reason I knew this day could only get worse.

"Hello, I'm Rachel Berry. Glee club member and community activist for the inclusion of the arts and music here McKinley High. Tonight my fellow glee club members and I would like to put on a performance that will hopefully help you to see that music a language that can be spoken, interpreted, and appreciated by all people; and that along with books, poetry, art, movies it is form of entertainment that can call upon common emotions that help link many different people together," Rachel said as Mercedes, Tina, Kurt, and Artie step up stool on stage. "To demonstrate this, for our performance we have chosen different songs that mean something to us and kept them secret until now, so we can see just how many musical connections we can make. We hope you enjoy," Rachel finished before walking to her seat in the middle of the stage.

**Artie- Beating Hearts Baby**

(Beating hearts baby) / Baby is this love for real? / (Beating hearts baby) / Let me in your arms to feel / (Beating hearts baby) / The beating of your heart baby / (Beating hearts baby) / The beating of your heart baby / You / You want nothing to do with me / You / You want nothing to do with me / I / I don't know what to do with you / Cos you / Don't know what you do to me / Baby is this love for real? / Let me in your arms to feel / The beating of your heart baby / The beating of your heart baby

_Artie, Tina, and Rachel. / (Beating hearts baby) / Baby is this love for real? / (Beating hearts baby) / Let me in your arms to feel / (Beating hearts baby) / Your beating heart baby / (Beating hearts baby) / The beating of your heart baby / Girl / You really got your hold on me / Girl / You really got your hold on me / Go / You gotta get away from me / Cos you / You want nothing to do with me / Baby is this love for real? / Let me in your arms to feel / The beating of your heart baby / The beating of your heart baby _

**Tina – Tonight**

Watch my back so I'll make sure / You're right behind me as before / Yesterday the night before tomorrow / Dry my eyes so you won't know / Dry my eyes so i won't show / I know you're right behind me / And don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / You walk the surface of this town /The high heels above the ground / And high horses that we know / Keep us safe until the night / You know them all, I know it all / Stay put and play along / Cause I'm looking for my friend / Now i got you, got you / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight  
_Rachel and Tina  
Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight/ I dry my eye, dry my eye  
Falling deeper by the hour / Dry my eye / Dry my eye, dry my eye / Don't let me fall deeper now / Dry my eye / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight / Don't you let me go, let me go tonight_

**Kurt – It's All Coming Back To Me Now**

There were nights when the wind was so cold / That my body froze in bed /If I just listened to it / Right outside the window / There were days when the sun was so cruel / That all the tears turned to dust / And I just knew my eyes were / Drying up forever / I finished crying in the instant that you left / And I can't remember where or when or how /And I banished every memory you and I had ever made /

_ Kurt, Tina, Mercedes, and Rachel  
But when you touch me like this / And you hold me like that / I just have to admit / That it's all coming back to me / When I touch you like this / And I hold you like that / It's so hard to believe but / It's all coming back to me / (It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now) / There were moments of gold / And there were flashes of light / There were things I'd never do again / But then they'd always seemed right / There were nights of endless pleasure / It was more than any laws allow / Baby Baby / If I kiss you like this / And if you whisper like that / It was lost long ago / But it's all coming back to me / If you want me like this / And if you need me like that / It was dead long ago / But it's all coming back to me / It's so hard to resist / And it's all coming back to me / I can barely recall / But it's all coming back to me now / But it's all coming back / There were those empty threats and hollow lies / And whenever you tried to hurt me / I just hurt you even worse / And so much deeper / There were hours that just went on for days / When alone at last we'd count up all the chances / That were lost to us forever / But you were history with the slamming of the door / And I made myself so strong again somehow / And I never wasted any of my time on you since then / But if I touch you like this / And if you kiss me like that / It was so long ago / But it's all coming back to me / If you touch me like this / And if I kiss you like that / It was gone with the wind / But it's all coming back to me / (It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now) / If you forgive me all this / If I forgive you all that / We forgive and forget / And it's all coming back to me / When you see me like this / And when I see you like that / We see just what we want to see / All coming back to me / The flesh and the fantasies / All coming back to me / I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now _

**Mercedes – One and Only**

You've been on my mind, / I grow fonder every day, / Lose myself in time, / Just thinking of your face, / God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go, / You're the only one that I want, / I don't know why I'm scared, / I've been here before, / Every feeling, every word,  
I've imagined it all, / You'll never know if you never try, / To forgive your past and simply be mine, / I dare you to let me be your, your one and only, / Promise I'm worth it, / To hold in your arms, / So come on and give me a chance, / To prove I am the one who can walk that mile, / Until the end starts,

_Mercedes, Tina, and Rachel_

_If I've been on your mind, / You hang on every word I say, / Lose yourself in time, / At the mention of my name, / Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close, / And have you tell me whichever road I choose, you'll go? / I don't know why I'm scared, / 'Cause I've been here before, / Every feeling, every word, / I've imagined it all, / You'll never know if you never try, / To forgive your past and simply be mine / I dare you to let me be your, your one and only, / I promise I'm worth it, mmm, / To hold in your arms, / So come on and give me a chance, / To prove I am the one who can walk that mile, / Until the end starts, / I know it ain't easy giving up your heart, / I know it ain't easy giving up your heart, / Nobody's pefect, / (I know it ain't easy giving up your heart), / Trust me I've learned it, / Nobody's pefect, / (I know it ain't easy giving up your heart), / Trust me I've learned it, / So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only, / I promise I'm worth it, / To hold in your arms, / So come on and give me a chance, / To prove I am the one who can walk that mile, / Until the end starts, / Come on and give me a chance, / To prove I am the one who can walk that mile, / Until the end starts_

**_Rachel – Hallelujah_**

I've heard there was a secret chord / That David played, and it pleased the Lord / But you don't really care for music, do you? / It goes like this / The fourth, the fifth / The minor fall, the major lift / The baffled king composing Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Your faith was strong but you needed proof / You saw her bathing on the roof / Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you / She tied you to a kitchen chair / She broke your throne, and she cut your hair / And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Baby I have been here before / I know this room, I've walked this floor / I used to live alone before I knew you. / I've seen your flag on the marble arch / Love is not a victory march / It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
At this Rachel turns toward me and sing  
There was a time when you let me know / What's really going on below / But now you never show it to me, do you? / And remember when I moved in you / The holy dove was moving too / And every breath we drew was Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Rachel turned and continued to sing to sections of the audience.  
Maybe there's a God above / But all I've ever learned from love / Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you / It's not a cry you can hear at night / It's not somebody who has seen the light / It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / You say I took the name in vain / I don't even know the name / But if I did, well, really, what's it to you? / There's a blaze of light in every word  
It doesn't matter which you heard / The holy or the broken Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / I did my best, it wasn't much / I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch / I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you / And even though it all went wrong / I'll stand before the Lord of Song / With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah  
_All _

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah_

The audience clapped after every songs before Rachel's but after she sang the crowd become somewhat uncomfortable and all that Rachel was greeted with was silence. It took her a moment to recover and a few stunned blinks before she continued; "now our newest member would like to perform for a song for you to symbolize the joy of opening your heart to music as their official induction into the Glee Club. Please give them a round of applause. The audience did as they were told and when the claps died off the music started.

"After you sing your verse we're leaving," my father whispered in my ear as the stage lights dimmed and the spotlight pointed to Brittany in her place in the audience as he stood up and sang.

"Time waits for no one," Brittany sang as the light shone on her and she stood, "So do you want to waste some time, Oh, oh tonight?"

"Don't be afraid of tomorrow," Finn continued joining Brittany and extending his hand to Santana, "Just take my hand; I'll make it feel so much better tonight."  
Santana stood taking Brittany's hand instead, "Suddenly my eyes are open, everything comes into focus, oh,"

"We are all illuminated, lights are shining on our faces, blinding," the trio sand as they made their way on to the stage.  
Suddenly the lyrics I had to sing felt weighed down with a double meaning and when I sang they felt heavy on my lips, "Swing me these sorrows, and try delusion for a while, it's such a beautiful lie."

"You've got to lose inhibition, romance your ego for a while. Come on, give it a try," Mike sang from his spot a few seats down where he was waiting for me to join him but my father wouldn't clear a path.

"Suddenly my eyes are open, everything comes into focus, oh," Puck sang as she stood up and glared at me. "We are all illuminated, lights are shining on our faces, blinding. We are, we are, blinded, We are, we are, blinded," Puck spat as he made his way towards me and not the stage.  
"Suddenly my eyes are open, everything comes into focus, oh," the entire glee club sang as Mike dragged Puck to the stage. "We are all illuminated. Lights are shining on our faces, blinding. We are, we are, blinding. We are, we are, blinding," the group sung as they brought the song to a close. The original five members were making small gestures to get me to come on stage but still my path was block and so instead I stared straight into Santana's eyes and cracked my neck twice in each direction.

As the song finished Santana made her way to stand behind Rachel and again no one clapped. Instead all eyes were on me as I stood helplessly in the crowd. Silently my Father stood up, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me to clean out my locker and gave me a little push. Without hesitation I walked to the nearest exit and only looked back once, Rachel's gaze was following me but snap to my Father's when she realized her was staring at her. Realizing what was happening she made an attempt to follow me but both Santana and Brittany were holding her back and in place. Mike was doing the same for Finn and Puck. Tina, Mercedes, Kurt, and Artie, simply look on completely lost. That's the last memory I had of any of them and the last memory they had of me.

I'd learn later that my mom had to escort my father out of room because he wouldn't turn away from staring down Rachel and that Rachel's dad had to do the same when she collapsed in a fit of tears on stage. Santana came out to her parents in my honor during Thanksgiving dinner and sometime in the next year Finn and Puck are finally able to be friends again. During their senior year Sue dedicated the Cheerios nationals win to my memory and put on a self-acceptance program or something of that nature every year since I left. The details are a little fuzzy on what Santana did to Jacob but apparently there is one more copy of the video Jacob can't get back and is paying severely for it. And Rachel…Rachel waited until the year ended to transfers out of the school district all together. It's believed that my Father chased them out of Lima before moving himself.

* * *

Author's Note:

Don't hate me. Quick thank you to E22 commenting and helping me realize this story was worth finishing. (Claps!) Anyway. Comments and Concerns? No really, what are your comments and concerns, because your opinion will help me decide on what degree of happiness this story will end on.

Until next time,

-MissWriteProductions


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note:

So...I'm finished. Honestly, I like the alternative ending at the very end, better then the long drawn out one. However, I felt as if I owned you some explanation regarding Quinn's past, and what happened after she left, and how they dealt with it.

Alright, after this story I'm going to go back to working on Wonderwall. I'll reupload the existing chapters to get everyone in the mood to read it again and then continue the story.

-Misswrite

* * *

"Rachel Berry," Barbara Walters beamed as she motioned for me to sit down.

"Ms. Walters," I sighed as I shook her hand and took the seat across from her. I smiled as I looked down and gave the chair a soothing caress. "Finally here."

"So you've just gotten back from shooting two different movies abroad," Walters noted. "Do you hope one of them will close out your EGOT desires?"

"I don't really plan that far ahead anymore," I said somberly, "if that turns out to be one of the results that come from this endeavor then I'll be truly blessed."

"So you're more for living in the moment," Walters commented.

"I wasn't always," I chuckled. "Up until I moved to New York I was very much anal retentive. Every class I took, every club I joined, every step I took, and every thought I had was about making it to Broadway, being on stage, and finally feeling like I belonged and like I was home."

"So what changed," Walters questioned.

"I found a place I'd rather stay instead," Rachel admitted after a moment. "I found a different place to call home."

"Was it a person, place, or thing?" Walters asked.

"Two things, one called love and the other friendship," I said with a smile.

"Really," Walters marveled. "The media has been following you since you broke into music four years ago and they have never seen you with anybody. Are you hiding him away?"

"No. No, I'm not," I said. "Also, it's a she."

"So what happened?" Walters asked.

"Life happened," I replied curtly as I tried to resist the need to touch the star hanging from my neck, "then life changed, and I changed and now here I am."

"Here you are, back in New York," Walters proclaimed, nicely allowing the subject to drop. "Have you any thoughts about what you plan to do next?"

"I really don't know, honestly," I asserted. "Honestly, when I was awarded my first role right out of high school, I was pulled out of the chorus. I did not out right audition for it and at first I was only Vanessa's understudy but once she left at the end of the summer the, Nathan said it was my time and he couldn't see anyone else in the part."

"But then you went to West End," Walters interjected. "Did you really not plan that?"

"I didn't I was vacation with my fathers and I went to see a show and the lead in the show's sister went into lab and her understudy wasn't able to make it in. I was in the audience when I heard and offered to fill in for the night," I remembered. "I didn't plan that."

"You stayed for three months though and when you can back to the states you brought home awards that weren't even on your list," Walters countered.

"Well, Jennifer's husband was putting on a production in a theater nearby and was planning to do show he wrote exclusively for the holidays and wanted me to play the antagonist," I recalled fondly. "I'm not sure if you know, but I have a rather large soft spot for tortured characters, so I jumped at the chance. After singing in it for the first two years, it kind of became a tradition, a present of sorts to myself, and I've been back every year since."

"Alright, did your album just come to you as well," Walters teased.

"Well, I think for the album a group of different things just sort of came together and coalesced into something wonderful," I concluded. "I suppose it started four years ago when the press came out with article after article suggesting I was in the middle of a break down."

"Yes, that was just after your first stint on West End," Walters agreed.

"Well, in actuality, that story was more true than I think anyone wanted to believe. Playing Vivian dug up a few thing I would have rather stayed buried," I sighed. "I started to become excessively emotional and increasingly moody. At the time I didn't have any shows, realized I barely had friends, acknowledged I was lonely and had been for some time, slept because I couldn't pick myself up to anything else, remised twenty-four/seven, stated to hallucinate and ramble, and in my hours of lucidity I wrote what of my sayings I could remember. My friends that I kept in contact with from high school came over from Los Angeles and fixed me up. It took a couple of days but they finally got me to talk about what was troubling me. Soon, I was finally able to except some of the problems I wanted to run away from and few weeks after they left I was able to build up the courage to look at some of the things I wrote down during that time. It was that raw material from which I wrote all my songs," I finished before swallowing down the lump in my throat.

"Different Kind of Light was critically acclaimed, number one in twelve different nation, won a Grammy for Album of the Year, Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Pop Vocal Album, Best Instrumental Arrangement, Best Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist, Best Short Form Music Video, and Best Long Form Music Video. Which one of those are you the most proud of," Walters asked.

"I'm most proud of the Best Instrumental Arrangement awards, because all of the lyrics and music videos were planned out in some part during that period of uncertainty, but the instrumental just came to me walking down the street daydreaming about the calm before the storms of high school. It instrumental track without the vocals and the one with the little bit of accompaniment are the two can say I know exactly the how it came about," I explained with a grin. "I'm really grateful for Jeffrey. He took my humming, was able to interpret what I was saying, identified what instruments would best bring the song to life, and did just that. I'm eternally grateful. In fact, I got him his own award, because I felt like he deserved one but I didn't want to give up my own."

"See, this album took some initiative. Most Grammy's won off of one album so far. Granted I doubt well find an album that diverse in the near future" Walters surmised.

"That's because it's written from two very different people's perspective and in truth i it was two albums in one but yes, I suppose it took some," I said after a moment.

"You were awarded an Emmy for you story arch on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit," Walters maintained. "How did that happen? How did you start on the show?"

"Right, well I was at an event with Mariska and somehow we got on the topic of one of her latest episodes. I told her I'm still waiting for the episode when a victim reappears years later but this time as the criminal. Two weeks later I get a call from her, the next day a script, and in three weeks I'm helping to shoot that last seven episode of their newest season," I replied nonchalantly.

"Word around town is that you helped write a large portion of your plot," Walters urged.

"That's true," I affirmed. "They first had me written as just a murderer but I wanted more depth. I needed her to be more of a tortured character. That show Gwen became not only the murdered of quote unquote the worst kind of pedophiles but one herself."

"How was it acting out the gruesome murder scenes and the sweet but sickening scenes with the preteen boys and girls," Walters questioned.

"It was challenging to say the least," I revealed, "but I had a lot of pent up aggression that helped with the murder scenes. When I was working with Billy and Megan, it just took one or two meeting with their families and a day of becoming comfortable with one another, before we were able to shoot the abduction scene and the scenes in my character's flat," I disclosed. "I believe most of the buzz surrounding the time on the show was not because the nature of the scenes and how well acted they were but the nature of the characters we created and the reasoning behind what they did."

"That was your first time on television," Walters said. "You've been back three times since, you played a mortician on Grey's Anatomy that gave beautiful men on the street a disease so that you could later become intimate with their dead bodies. Unknowingly causing an epidemic Seattle," I nodded. "You played the apprentice for an entire season on Once Upon A Time, who after the Evil Queen was defeated and banished, came to her aid. You listened to her story, became her weapon, and you helped her regain her following and eventually gave her your magic to ensure that Snow White did not succeed in taking something else away from her. You became something of her right hand women until Rumpelstiltskin wiped you of your memory and allowed Emma to use you take back your magic from the Evil Queen. In the end, the Evil Queen Kills you and it ushers in the new rein of terror on the show that occurring this season." I nodded again. "Lastly, you starred in an HBO series about a girl that kills her enemy in one universe and then travels to several others killing the Denise's of those universes. Until you come to a universe where the you of that universe is in love with and dating Denise, so when she you kill her Denise she chases you through universes until she is able to stop you. It's all very confusing to say but thrilling to watch." I nod once more. "All of these stories you helped write and all of which won an award of its own. I hear that when people find out you're going to be on a show they watch because they know you going to do something crazy."

"Yes, I heard that as well," I acknowledge slowly. "I only ever get the scripts for the final episodes for a season. I'm supposed to be a wow factor of sorts."

"You turn many of them down though," Walters started. "In fact, you turn about ninety percent of the parts and songs offered to you down. Why?"

"I don't often feel inspired and I'm trying to finish at University in the mean time," I sighed, "I changed my major from Music halfway through so I'm a little behind."

"What's your major now?"

"Psychology and English," I smiled. "Not what you'd expect but I really enjoy it."

"Now although, you're not doing as many plays, concerts, and guest appearances as you once did, new coverage on you has only increased." I nodded.

"I don't really understand it but they've been digging," I acknowledged.

"Well, part of it is they want to catch you doing something damning because you have built the reputation of being a goody-goody," Walters revealed. "I can't count the number of scandalous articles that have come out claiming the worst of things about you. ...but I think that a lot of it is that you're a mystery."

"How so," I asked. "I don't think their is anything mysterious about me."

"The star around your neck has an engraving of 'The best thing that every happened to me, happened when I was seven minutes early.' To what does that reference?"

"My best friend and I met at freshman orientation because we finished our placement test seven minutes early and were the first to be let out to explore the school and meet some of our future teachers. We met that day and became really close," I offered. "It's not much of a mystery.

"Is this the friend that you said changed your life before," Walters asked.

"It is," I replied uneasily understanding that now that this topic had been brought back up, she would be less likely to drop it once more.

"Was it hard losing her?" Walters tested.

"I'm not sure if it wasn't just as hard having her," I responded truthfully.

"And yet you still carry her around with you," Walters noted.

"I do. It's the only thing I have left of her," I shrug.

"What do you carry around inside of it," Walters asked.

"...I don't understand what you mean," I said picking up my necklace. "It's not a locket."

"No but it opens up so you can place ashes, hair, or something like that inside," Walters explained.

I take it off my neck and try to find an opening, "I've never opened it nor have I seen and opening."

"How did you come across this brand of keepsakes if you did not plan on finding a necklace for that purpose." Walters questions as I twist the place were the chain wines through the necklace and open the necklace.

"It was a gift," I sigh as I pull a rolled up piece of paper from it.

Quinn,

You're asking me to leave so I will,

but I wanted to say that I really enjoyed

meeting you today. I hope that we will

become the very best of friends this year

despite, or hopefully, because of what

we shared here today. Please do not torture

yourself about it. Often times the events we

value the most in out lives are also the unexpected

ones.

Thankful that you were my first.

-Rachel

"What do you have there," Walters tested.

"It's I note I left to her," I stuttered turning the note over in my hand before seeing something scribbled on the back of the note.

Rachel,

Rachel I I think we should

I looked forward to Today was

You're everything I ever dreamed of having

and more. I think that's why I fell as hard as

I did as quickly as I did. I'm sure I had a crush

on you when you walked me home. I feel in love

when you called me beautiful. Loving you isn't

the problem though, it's what I did tonight and

still would like to do that troubles me. It's going

to take some time learning how to be with you

without wanting all of you again.

-Quinn

P.S. I already consider you my best friend.

I rolled the paper back up and dusted the flecks of dried blood of my hand before I placed it back inside my necklace, "Do you mind if I the phone?"

"Not at all," Walters said as I stood up and walked to the desk in the corner of the room and dialed a number I knew by heart.

"Vincent Green Private Detective-" Vincent started.

"I need her number," I assert.

"Ms. Berry," Vincent sighed.

"I need her number Vincent," I maintained.

"Are you sure," Vincent asked.

"I am."

"There is no coming back after this you know," Vincent warned. "You're happy now. You don't have to second guess everything. You've come to an understanding."

"You are not my therapist Vince," I interjected, "an even if you were that no longer applies."

"Nothing has changed Rachel," Vince urged. "What makes this call any different from the one I get every other month?"

"Everything has changed," I announced hotly. "The number."

"784-667-9675," Vincent stated solemnly.

"Thanks," I muttered before hanging up and calling the number.

"Lucy Fabray's phone," Judy said after the second ring.

"Hi, may I speak with Lucy," I asked hesitantly.

"She's in her office right now. Can this wait?" Judy questioned.

"It's important that I speak to her now," I stammered.

"Alright dear, hold on," Judy said. "Lucy honey, you have a phone call."

"Not right now mom," Quinn yelled through the door.

"It's important darling," Judy whispered.

"Okay, I might as well grab lunch. Give me a second," Quinn sighed. "...Lucy Fabray."

"...I found your note," I said after a moment.

There was the sound of multiple dishes breaking but no nothing else until Judy's shrieked, "Lucy why are you just standing there. You're bleeding!"

There was a lot of commotion after that before the sound of a dorm slamming and locking was heard, "Rachel," Quinn marveled.

"I don't understand you Quinn," I sighed. "Got you're note."

"I was wondering when you'd find it," Quinn whispered.

"What changed," I asked. "What changed between the time when you wrote it and the start of freshman year?"

"...did you know my mother found me in the same spot you left me that night," Quinn asked after a minute. "She was the first one to read your note, not me. I was still in a state of shock for hours after we finished. She got me to snap out of it. Told me to calm down and that it wasn't my fault because I went from one extreme to another and didn't have any experience in dealing with pressure of what I was feeling. I never had a friend before, I never had a crush before, I'd never been kissed before or touched. I was overwhelmed and feel into pleasure of it all head first, I didn't even take a second to look back. She spent like half an hour to get me to stop crying and then she passed me the note and told me to respond to it and I did."

"So your mother knew," I questioned, flabbergasted. "She knew about all of it that night."

"Yeah," Lucy chuckled. "It was a little weird. If we weren't so close I'd have probably been scared for like. She even drew me a bath you know, put my sheets in the wash, set my bed, and sat with me while I washed up...we talked about religion."

"Is that what did us in?" I asked.

"No. Our old church in Belleville accepted homosexuals you know...well sort of. They said it was okay to love one another but not act on it. We had these two members who lived together for years, never asked to get married and never gave into concupiscent urges," Quinn retold softly. "Mom was just helping understand that it wasn't too late to from the edge."

"So what happened," I question tightly.

"My father's beliefs on many things were much stronger than what our old church preached, but he couldn't find one more concurrent with his ideals because my mother was already friends with so many people at the church and to just leave wouldn't be taken well," Quinn explained. "However, when we moved Russell was able to shop around for a church he liked. Turns out that's what he was doing on the day of orientation. Mom and I were cooking dinner when he came in and told us he found the perfect church, and as you know that church wasn't very accepting of your parents. He spent the entire dinner ranting about how your dads were doing to hell, and you along with hem. My mom couldn't talk him out of it so we became members, I was made to join the Christian youth group, Sunday school, and the Junior Activist club. The entire summer I was immersed in it, I was at the church from morning to night and when I got home Russell would go on and on about your dads and you. Needless to say I cracked under the pressure," Quinn finished. "First day of school Russell even knew what you looked like and pointed you out to me. He told me to not even acknowledge your existence and that if you approached me I should let you know in now uncertain terms what I thought of you."

"And you listen to him," I scoffed.

"My father wasn't that bad before we came to Lima," I defended. "He was never really that mean before. Yeah, we knew he was strongly against a large number of things but we never really saw the ugliness reared its head until he faced the things he hand come to hate. He was still me dad at the time."

"He beat you within an inch of you're life," I shouted.

"He was drunk," Quinn sighed.

"So you've forgiven him," I asked.

"How do you even know about that," Quinn whined.

"I know everything that happened to you since you left Lima," I proclaimed.

"Then you know that he's in jail and I haven't talked to him since," Quinn reminded.

"And your mother," I asked.

"Careful Rachel," Quinn warned. "My mother doesn't deserve your hatred. She hasn't done anything."

"She let him hurt you," I bellowed.

"He locked her out of his study. She called the police when she realized what was going on," Quinn informed quickly. "She 's the reason I'm still here."

"How can you say that? She knew what your dad was like and she left you alone with him," I said.

"Russell never touched me until then. It was like you said," Quinn chuckled. "He sent me to a bunch of reform camps. In was in one abroad when I ran way. When they finally found me he wasn't very forgiving."

"Why you run away," I question.

"I'd been stalking the broadway scene for a while before you showed up," Quinn sighed. "I sent you flowers when you made the chorus. Did you get them?"

"That was you," I marveled.

"So of course I had to step it up for when you took over as lead," Quinn bubbled. "I knew I wouldn't be back in time but...I wanted to be there to support my friend. To support you. You know I know everything that happened to you since I'left Lime."

"Why didn't you ever come see me," I asked.

"It took a lot of therapy for me to come to terms with, not only who I am, but what I did to you. I was fairly sure that with all time we'd spent apart you'd come to see that I wasn't worth it and start to hate me for it."

"Did you mom send you to a therapist when your father was jailed," I asked.

"Yep," Quinn smiled. "Right after I was okay to leave the hospital."

"May dads sent me after we moved to New York," I revealed. "He made me realize a number of things and for a few moments here and there I did lose hope and allow myself to feel hate. He made me realize that nothing that you did or said implied that you returned my feelings, in fact, you did quite the opposite."

"But you still didn't hate me," Quinn noted.

"No, I realized what you said didn't really matter. It was how you behaved and how you looked that was the most telling. I'd fall asleep and relive all of our moments together and wake up even more assured than I was before," I said.

"Why didn't you ever come looking for me," Quinn asked after a minute.

"The last promise I made you was that I'd make myself scarce so that you could do what you needed to do. I didn't want to break that rule if I didn't have to but after reading your note I felt compelled to," I said.

"I knew you'd find it eventually," Quinn replied softly.

"What you hope to achieve with it," I questioned.

"Well, when I wrote it I planed on giving it to you the next day but Russell got in the way. When I put in it in the necklace I was hopping you'd find it truly believe that I wanted to be your friend. After I left though, I'd hope you'd find it and maybe know that you were right and I did love you," Quinn said.

"You loved me?" I asked.

"I love you... You know me better than I know myself Rachel. Never doubt that you're right when it comes to me," Quinn chided.

"So what now," I question after a moment.

"Well, I hear we are both going to the Academy Awards this year. If I win, I'll give a speech about how you inspired the story, and after I finish I'll run offstage and tell you I love you in person and kiss you," Quinn offered hopefully.

"...maybe," I smirk.

* * *

Non-eight page ending:

"Isn't great to be back home Ms. Berry?" David asked as he escorted me from the town car to the house I was renting.

"I'm not quite sure yet, but I am enjoying seeing familiar faces," I smiled as I gave him a small hug. "My bodyguard in Europe was much less fun." I wait for his response but instead he goes rigid and places his hand on his gun. "David?"  
"Stand behind me Ms. Berry," David ordered before approaching the house. It took me a moment to understand why he was so spoked, but after noticing the dim lights in the house, I followed his order precisely and offered my key when he asked for it. "Are you expecting anyone?"

"No," I whispered back before he opened the door slowly revealing a trail of flower petals. David looked back at me, eyebrow quirked, and confusion in his eyes, before he refocused and continued to sneak into the house. I bent to pick up a petal before following. A little father in we found the source of the dim light to be a candle and again David looked back at me. I shrug and pushed him forward again.

He sees a shadow on the steps moving slowly and readies his gun. As he quickly turns the corner and yells freeze, a bag of petals falls to the floor ruining the air of seduction, "Shit," the intruder gasps.

I move forward slowly to sneak a peck and freeze as well, "Quinn?" I breath out slowly, gripped by awe at seeing her for the first time in years.

"Hi Rachel," Quinn stammers eyes barely leaving the gun.

"I think it's safe for you to go David," I smiled.

"Ms. Berry?" David warned.

"It's okay," I smirk. "It's okay for you to go."

After David leaves, I remove most of the distance between Quinn and I. She took a moment to compose herself before she looked at me again, "You're supposed to be at the party for another hour."

I smile, "The faster I got to home to sleep, the faster I could wake up and fly out to see you in the morning... Need some help?"

* * *

Hello Readers,

Okay, thanks for sticking with me. Tell me what you thought about the ending and the story as a whole. Also which did you enjoy more, the long ending or the short one. Does anyone recongize what Quinn is trying to do? Hints are in the last chapter.

-MissWriteProductions


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